Headline Wit

WIT AND WISDOM IN CATCHY HEADLINES


Newspapers these days in our country are filled with stories of terrorist activities, murder, loot, accidents, epidemics and such grim stories which bring no cheer to the reader. It is only occasionally the news bring a smile on our case. However so was not the case a couple of decades back when headline writers made us laugh quite often as it would be evident from the following random illustrations. The job of a headline writer involves intelligence combined with a sense of humour. He remains more anonymous than the headline maker. However, his job is full of challenge, wit, humour combined with calculated risk of even losing his job.

One of the earliest humour headlines which remains green in my memory even after 50 years dates back to the early sixties when I was working in Delhi. Those days the Parliament [Lok Sabha] consisted of eminent educationists and intellectuals and quite a few of them like Pilloo Mody were known for ready wit and humour. His ready wit drew applause even from the Prime Minister Nehru. When Pilloo passed away in Delhi, in a befitting caption in the obituary column, a reporter of the Hindustan Times published the news in his newspaper under the headline ‘Pilloo from Loksabha to Paralok Sabha’.

In the early sixties there was an English evening newspaper in Delhi whose editor had a special knowledge of floriculture, particularly of Roses. He was once invited by the local Florist Culture Association to deliver a talk on ‘Germicidal Effects of Insects on Roses’. This talk was announced in his newspaper in the Engagements column by a reporter of the paper who was new to the job. The talk was covered under the caption ‘Rose Fans invited to hear Insect Talk’. The reporter got a sack the next morning.

In the late seventies, the Horticulture Department of Karnataka Government held a Mango Exhibition in the Lal Bagh gardens. Mangoes of all varieties and all over the country were exhibited. On the last day of the Great Mango Exhibition, word went round that every visitor to the Mango Show on its last day would be given a big sized Alfonso [Apoos] from Bombay free of cost. Such was the rush to the exhibition, particularly in the evening when all office goers returning from their offices, students, housewives, wayside pedestrians made a beeline to the exhibition and caused a traffic job around the Lal Bagh West Gate. Buses were held up, motorists stranded, two wheelers in disarray and cyclists in rampage. The next morning’s Indian Express carried the news under the heading ‘Mango Jam in Lal Bagh Gardens’.

A reputed Chartered Accountant from Bangalore once went to the Century Club near Cubbon Park and got drunk much beyond his capacity. On his way back home even in that tipsy condition, he stumbled over the steps and fell flat on the ground. A local English newspaper known for its juicy news covered the news under the heading
‘Well Known Chartered Accountant loses His Balance”



In the early sixties s famous Film Producing Company from Bombay was camping in Bangalore for some location shots in and around Vidhana Soudha, Lal Bagh, and Cubbon Park etc. It was at a time when the city of Bangalore was hit by an infectious disease called ‘Scarlet Fever’ which was spreading like an epidemic and was the talk of the town. The Film Company advertised in some local newspapers calling for applications from good looking girls between the ages of 18 and 25 to act in minor roles. Several Bangalore girls were aware of the money they can earn by acting even in minor roles and did not want to miss an opportunity. All of them applied for the post. On the day of the interview the advertiser’s office in Gandhinagar was flooded with prospective candidates with the result that a local English newspaper covered the event under the heading ‘Starlet Fever Hits Bangalore Girls’

Some years ago, a few society ladies of Delhi felt at one of their Kitty Parties that they were wasting their time in social gossip and it was time for them to do some social service. They decided that asking people to donate blood for the jawans would be the easiest way. Accordingly they established a Blood Donation Camp and many youths and youngsters volunteered to donate substantial amount of blood. One newspaper published the event under the caption ‘Women after Men’s Blood’

A teacher in a convent school in Calcutta felt that wearing a tie and full suit, as per the Dress Code of the school was a bit inconvenient while teaching, particularly with the tie on. He asked for waiver, at least in respect of the tie, but the school authorities refused. He appealed to a Court of Law and lost the case. A newspaper reported
‘Teacher Loses Suit. He must wear Tie”

In January 2009, in a residential locality called ‘Pantulu Nagar’ in Guntur, Andhra Pradesh, many respected residents felt that a lady in their locality with high political connections and clandestine activities was corrupting the mind of the youth and gullible youngsters. They complained to the Police about their problem and asked them to take action. The Police felt their inability to do anything as the lady was powerful and highly connected. They appealed even to the highest authority to redress their problem but all pleaded helplessness on account of the lady’s connections. Finally the matter was taken up seriously by the Local Women’s Club who called on the Governor and submitted a detailed report exposing the activities of the lady. The Governor was satisfied with the exposure report .A local English eveninger by name ‘Guntur News’ published the news under the heading “Governor Satisfied with the Women Body’s Exposure”. The very next day the reporter of the newspaper got the pink slip for the slanderous headline on the Governor. However, it was ten months later that the Editor regretted his hasty decision in sacking his faithful reporter and that he could not realize the reporter’s farsightedness.
The concerned Governor was no other than Hon Sri N.D Tiwari who was sacked by the Government recently.


B.M.N.Murthy




ARTICLE NO. 553--WIT AND WISDOM OF CATCHY HEADLINES
Created: Friday, February 5, 2010 8:16 AM